Even through the trials and troubles i go through….when life sucks and i just wanna give up and take the easy route….i couldnt be happier to go through the rough patches. Because that just means that God’s taking me where i need to go.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!
My niece will be here next month!!!!!
My friend Olivia’s baby will be here next month too!!
I <3 babies
I <3 my job
Life is a beach…I’m just playin in the sand.
I get to see maroon 5 at winstar on Dec 31…lil wayne is picking up the tab…i know people. Who know people..Who know lil wayne
Taylor is moving to Hawaii
I’m thinking about getting a second job
…..or going back to school sounds better
The jetta will be mine all mine soon
I don’t like where Im at
There’s a house down the street and it looks like Christmas threw up in the front yard
Can you have a caffeine overdose?
My tonsils are coming out soon….ish
Anyone need a roommate? Sometime in January
Sometimes i hate Lovey. But then i feel bad for hating her and couldn’t imagine my life without her.
I wish i had pto sometimes
I sweat a lot…more than normal. And its annoying. But my medicine burns my armpits so i don’t like to use it. But i wanna quit sweating…..ugh, its a never ending vicious circle.
Sometimes I wish things didn’t happen, and wonder how things would’ve been different if it hadn’t happened. But then I remember that everything happens for a reason, and a lot of good can come from it. But you can’t focus on the good outcome until you realize the good in whatever bad has happened. Does that make sense? Ugh I know, I think too much. Sometimes I feel like a stupid girl for thinking about this stuff in depth too much, but imma girl…it’s what we do. We over analyze things. Like for example, I used to wish me and Brian never broke up. And that’s all I could focus on, every day for over a year. But now, being at the point I’m at now, a lot of good has happened from the break up. But it took me till this year to realize all this. I was able to focus on me and what I wanted, I’ve made new friends that I wouldn’t have made if we had stayed together bc I would have never hung out with the people who introduced me to my new friends. I was able to find myself and figure out what I want from life, I was able to dig deep inside the mind of joy and grow into a better person, I wouldn’t have figured out what I really want in a guy, I wouldn’t be dating Taylor right now so I wouldn’t have the awesome job that I have and I wouldn’t have the honor of working with the 2 gorgeous ladies that I’m proud to call my employees. I wouldn’t know deedee, emilee, Olivia, myshea, Danyalle, hayley, amber, Kerry, Brady, savannah, Joseph, Alicia, mark, Vicki, and Chris. I wouldn’t have had the fun I’ve had with my old friends, and wouldn’t have gotten closer with old friends like I have over the past year and a half. And I wouldn’t have gotten stronger, more confident in myself, and independent. And despite the jerks I’ve dated, I’m glad I experienced those nightmares bc I learned to stand up for myself and not let guys talk down to me. I’ll always have a soft spot for Brian, just from being together for so long and with everything we went through together but I’m happy for him with seeing this new girl. And I’m happy where I am in my life. And this is the first time I’ve been able to say this and feel ok with it.
so i’m finally working!!! i’m running a tanning salon in irving now! i work like all the time and have no life, but eh it’s work! i like it! it sucks tho bc i like never see luke anymore bc i’m either working or sleeping :’( i’m the only one doing airbrushes so i’m there pretty much all day every day unless i block off certain times on our airbrush schedule so i can leave earlier, like i’m doing this evening ha ha ha ha. i’m leaving at 7, thank goodness! i can’t wait till i have weekends off again.
i’m still seeing taylor and he’s awesome! especially because he gets pedicures with me!….and drives me around and lets me drive his truck, cuz i lost my car last month :( and he sorta kinna not really got me this job, he mentioned to his friend that i needed one and his friend was like “oh i need a manager for my salon!” and he liked me and here i am. and he brings me foooood when i’m at work =)…like today..but idk where he is…so the other night we were at walmart and he bought rio. i’d been waiting since last month for it to hit redbox but it was taking forever so he just bought it and it’s freakin hilarious!!!!! ya, he pretty much rocks my socks off. i think i’ll keep him around awhile. he drives me absolutely nuts so sometimes i slap him for it, but i like him enough to keep him around.
so i went to grapevine mills mall last weekend bc i needed a swimsuit last minute (btw hardly anyone has any! woulda been nice to know before i ran around for an hour..)and i went into the gap outlet and couldn’t believe my eyeballs….i found so pink! i used to wear it back in high school!! i thought it was discontinued, i can’t tell u how happy i was to find it! so i bought the perfume and lotion. taylor says he can taste it when i spray it butttttt he’s gonna have to get used to it bc i freakin love it!
brittany is pregnant again! and she’s due on Christmas and i couldn’t be more excited!! IT’S A GIRL! WOO HOO!!! luke is gonna be a big brother! gah i can’t believe he’s a year old and going to be a brother. this is just all happening too fast.
when you drink cold water, do u feel the coldness in your boobs as you swallow?
i broke a blood vessel in my eye on sunday. it looks pretty sweet…
i also smacked my middle finger on something saturday night and now it’s numb…still…and it’s wednesday.
the other day i was cleaning a bed at work and the fan ate my hair.
you ever find out about someone getting married and you feel sorry for the person they’re marrying bc you’re like “they don’t know what they’re getting themselves into!”….ya, i do. the poor girl doesn’t even know…ShE dOeSnT eVeN kNoW!!!
i hate the songs marry you, lighters, tonight, you and i, and last friday night because i hear them 713026788465413975641 times a day.
but i like smile, moves like jagger, oh darling, and pumped up kicks even though i hear those the same amount of times a day.
i’m so hungry it’s redonkulous. i want babe’s chicken fried steak…or chicken e’s catfish………………………………….uuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh………..
So here’s how this works…..its my life, not your’s. They’re my decisions, not your’s. They’re my friends I allow in my life, not your’s. If I wanted your input or opinion I’d ask you for it. If I haven’t asked you to stick your nose in my business, then keep it out. Its really that easy. I’m not up in your’s, and I never have been. Yes, I’m on unemployment. Yes, I AM looking for a job WHILE I currently work with/for my boyfriend. So no, I do not sit at home all day and do nothing. I’m pretty sure I’ve done more in the past week than you’ve done in a month. …Wait, did I say my boyfriend? Yes, my boyfriend. I have a boyfriend?? OMG!!! And here’s a little known fact…he’s younger than me too. There’s something else you can talk abt. Just by 10 months, but whatev. I’ll tell you what, he’s by far the most respectful guy I’ve EVER dated, hands down. And its well over the “beginning phase” of our relationship. He’s respectful towards all women, so no its not just me. Apparently younger guys is where I should’ve been looking. I’ve never been treated with such respect before. Yes, I drink alcohol but I do not get drunk and I do not drink every day. There’s nothing wrong with drinking. And last but not least, yes, I am on an antidepressant and have been since january. I do what I do, you do what you do. Lord knows I’m not perfect by any means, so don’t think I’m saying I am or that I’m better than you or anyone else. I’m in no way meaning to have idea come across. I have my bad days, I do stupid things, I have emotional explosions bc I let my emotions get to me, and ya some of my friends are kinna crappy but I still love them and will always be there for them. So until you live a life of total perfection, and really do know everything abt everything, don’t tell me how to run mine. But I am flattered that you would stress about me and my well being enough to make me the center of your world. Its funny that you don’t like me and that this is probably the most attentive I’ve seen you towards me.
I’ve kept quiet way too long abt this, and the final straw has been drawn. Maybe now that you know I know what’s being said, and the fact that I admitted to everything you’ve been saying abt me will bring to your attention the fact that nothing u say can or will hurt me bc most of it is true. I don’t know why u’d think I’d be embarrassed to admit to all of that. If I pretend its not true then I’m being fake, and how can people accept you for you if you’re fake? Hhmmm…that’s funny.
…..The new title of my life… Airing on Soap Net starting July 1…. Ha ha… And I literally mean my life is like a soap opera right now. If u took every single one ever created and jammed them all into one show, you pretty much got everything covered that I’ve found out abt and that’s happened to me recently. Everyone has pretty much snuck up behind me and stabbed me right in the back the past 5 days. Its AWESOME!! One freakin thing after another. I’m SO lucky to have such AWESOME people in my life.. Pppffff….don’t get pissed at me if in a couple days you’re no longer my friend and I don’t talk to u anymore, u made that decision for me when u did what u did…. So thanks for making it easy on me and showing me your true colors, always nice to know..
Its time for some spring cleaning again. Clean out the old junk and make room for the new stuff. Like figuring out what the hell I want in life…..I think I know, but then I think to myself “ha be realistic”. But then I’m like what if I am being realistic? What if that could happen? I won’t know till I attempt it, right? But if I fail I’m gonna kick myself in the ass and probably go live in a hole in the ground…anyways, back to figuring out my life…that would be nice since I’m 24 with no college degree, sitting on my ass bc I’ve been turned away from companies so many times I don’t care to try anymore bc of more rejection waiting to come, all while having a boyfriend that’s not going to stay with me unless I get a job….I know y’all are jealous! Good news tho, I did get good news abt working for Sephora! Woo hoo!!! And I’m very proud of myself for an accomplishment, but I’m not gonna say what it is….That’s kinna the only good news I’ve gotten the past week. Everything else has just bogged me down and made me wanna shove cement in my ears and gauge my eyes out with a spoon.
I mean really, again with the bad stuff happening ALL at once? Didn’t I go through enough of that last year?! I mean it’s all totally unrelated, for the most part, and it all happens within the same 7 days?!…Its like these people watched Soap Net for a week and each picked something from a show they were gonna do, seriously. We got the friend leaking personal and confidential info to other friends/family, the friend who slept with an old ex, the friend starting rumors abt past incidents saying its gonna happen again, and the boyfriend gone through all of this on vaca for a couple weeks, totally unaware of what’s going on, so right when I feel better bc that’s the one person who hasn’t heard all this bullshit and I don’t have ro worry abt getting pissed off anymore, I find out I don’t get to see him when he gets back (tuesday), I’m seeing him the next day (wednesday)… so now I wanna punch something in the face bc the Joy is pissed off AGAIN!…I think the universe hates me. Its the only logically explanation. I don’t mean to be a debbie-downer, but things have been going so well for me recently and now its like everything is falling apart. Like I can’t just be happy and move passed everything. Crap from the past just HAS to come up at the most inconvenient time EVER, which brings up MORE stuff from the past and its just eating away at me. I feel like a termite is in my brain eating it away….I’m over analyzing things and reading into things I probably shouldn’t be bc I’m so stressed and upset abt everything else, my emotions are dangling off the edge of a cliff…I’m just waiting for that breeze to blow through and knock it over. I need a venti mocha coconut frappuccino and a massage. PRONTO PEOPLE!!!!!! This girl is abt to blow!!
Anyways I’m going to bed. Going to the dr in the morn for a problem with my eyes and head….hopefully not my heart too. Ya know there’s really nothing else bad that could happen to me so that’s a positive thing, right?
Hola amigos! man so much has happened the past few months. Life is crazy. Its at that point where you’re growing up, life is changing, loved ones pass away, friends lives change. I don’t like it. Can’t life be easy like it was when I was younger with no responsibilties? This sucks.
My grandpa passed away 2 weeks ago yesterday. Kinna expected/unexpected…we knew it was soon, just not THAT soon. Being around all my family I never see was cool. I got to get away for a few days in oklahoma with langston and his family for their family reunion. Did a lot of nature stuff that was totally out of my “lil city girl” box. It was cool tho. Then I found ticks on me and the fun level went down a notch. Then I saw his nephew try to catch a goose and it was fun again!!!! We hung out with his 2 brothers and lauren and his 2 nephews and one of their girlfriends sarah the last night there…good times!!. And then I woke up the next morning with another tick attatched to me, and the fun level went down further. I did have fun tho. I’m glad us girls stuck together on that hike! That was a doozy. I was ready to give up after the first boulder I had to climb over. And I fell in the river while trying to cross it on the crossing rocks. Sooo then I get home and the next morning find MORE ticks on me. That was disgusting. Anyways, I’ll probably get lyme disease and die soon. Or the other thing u get from ticks…is it typhoid? Anyhoo….
Langston and I are still together! Been 3 months now. Things are going really well. I kinna had a fallout with my celexa and got all depressed again and kinna felt it affecting our relationship so now I’m on wellbutrin and I’m doing better. I have way more energy during the day! Like I feel hyper almost, but its like I just don’t feel weighed down like I was before. And my patience level went from abt a 2 to abt…eh, a 9 the first few days I was on it. Langston left for Africa last week on wednesday. Him, his youngest bro, mom, dad, uncle, aunt, cousin, and her bf all went on a safari. So I’m staying at their house with Eren, his little sister. Its like a mini vacation from my life. I feel like a soccer mom tho with all the taking and picking up and running errands for/with her. Its really cool tho. Its like I have another younger sister. We’re having a lot of fun together. We went to six flags on saturday and she gets to play hookie on wednesday and we’re going to the zoo!! HALF PRICE DAY BABY!!!! And then maybe peter piper’s for dinner wednesday night. We’ll see how tired we are after the zoo lol and I’m taking Luke! His first trip to the zoo!!!
So my sister in law Brittany is preggo again!!!! Totally a surprise. I’m so excited!!!!! I soooo hope its a girl. I want a little neice!!!! :) so I can buy her baby hello kitty stuff and the big bows and cute lil dresses!! But if its another boy, I’m totally ok with that too!!!! I don’t care what it is as long as its healthy and doesn’t grow up to act like joseph when he was younger. LMAO! I’m kidding!!!!!
…..Partially kidding…
Lovey got fixed thursday and I swear she knew bc she’s been such a baby!! Idk maybe its a jealousy thing being around maggie and matilda and them being near me. But all she wants to do is be like right up on me, like sitting in my lap or somehow touching me. And if they come over while she’s by me, ooohhh boy!…she growls and barks at them. She did it with Eren tonight actually! I was making dinner and she was at my feet by the stove and Eren was hitting me with a fly-swatter and Lovey started barking at her the closer she got to me and the more she hit me lol it was funny. Oh gosh..just had a lightbulb moment…she has little dog syndrome. CRAP!!!!
Ok well I’m going to bed. Gotta be up early to get miss sunshine up for school at 7am! She’s the same as me in the morning lol doesn’t wanna get up, makes moaning noises, and then doesn’t say anything till she fully wakes up. I get her, its nice. But I am a tad bit worse I’ll admit. Eh well…whatcha gonna do?
so a lot has happened….ummmm i moved back home. i’m still watching my friend’s girls. me and langston are doing fan-freakin-tastic. i recently had an emergency liquidation of like everything i own, except my soul, bc i needed money for my car. uuuhhh so i no longer have a laptop or iphone..which sucks!!! i freakin miss my iphone. umm other than that, i’m so stressed out that every day i wake up literally wondering if my heart is going to explode that day. i’m not sleeping, i’m only eating abt once a day, i keep feeling like i’m going to pass out, i can’t drink enough water, my eyes feel funny, i can feel my heartbeat all throughout my body, my right boob keeps twitching (nervous twitch??..i’m starting to wonder), i can’t remember anything or focus on anything. like i’ve seriously never been this stressed out before, health-wise it’s starting to concern me. i can’t even begin to explain to you how weird i feel, it’s beyond words. for once in my life i’m speechless…UGH!!!!!!! i need another vacation. or i need to disappear for a few days with no contact with anyone. that sounds lovely..
if ya’ll could please just keep me in your prayers, that’d be awesome! i’ve gotta get a break somewhere or i’m going to lose what little mind i have left.
i have learned….many things…but lately, it’s all abt being comfortable with myself. and i’ve never been at this point in my life before where i let people, other than my family and extremely close friends, see me at my worst- without make up, dresed in my “comfies” (my comfies is sweat pants/workout pants and tshirt), and my hair in a messy thing. so i asked myself why…and i realized that it’s because i’ve been all abt impressing others and i’ve been embarrassed by my complection looking like a 13 year old’s. here i am 24 and my skin is the worst it’s ever been! but that means i’m being fake. the real me would let others see me in this other way and not care. so for the first time in a long time, i’ve been going all natural. no makeup, hair a blah, wearing whatever i want out in public and around my boyfriend (which has never really happened in the past..unless i was sick). it’s a big accomplishment. but i mean why impress other people? it’s what we all want. acceptance. but how can others accept you for you, if you aren’t being you in the first place? i’ve been much happier too, just being myself and letting people see me as me. ya, if i’m going out i’ll look nicer. but for every day activities, who cares!? i don’t!! it’s been very freeing!! i like this feeling. i’ve actually felt more beautiful being like this bc i’m not flaunting my “made up” face around. i’ve learned to appreciate my real beauty that God has given me. so what if i have acne at 24? there’s older people than me, who even have it worse. it happens! but i did get proactiv this week and i’m really excited abt it!!! i already see a difference in my skin after just 2 days. and it’s definitely helped me as well if my self-confidence.
anyways!!!! what i’m trying to say is..who cares if you have acne, or if you’re too lazy to really get dressed and put on a bra! us girls have ALL been there! you’re beautiful the way you are! God created you how He wanted to! Don’t hinder your natural beauty with 10 lbs of makeup every day bc u don’t like your imperfections! your imperfections make you who you are! struttin around in el natural, to me, shows me that girl is confident in herself to not have to get dolled up just to go to the store. she’s comfortable with herself.
so everyone get out there and be confident with yourself! or i’ll come find you and punch u in your ovaries!
….just kidding…i’ll slap the makeup off your face!!!
sssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooo happy! oh. em. gee. life is going good. i had a break through back in January that changed my perspective of a lot of things in my life and ever since then i’ve been much happier! and more free feeling and peaceful. i had the flu on my birthday so i wasn’t able to do what i wanted to do, and it was like subconsciously, i was trying to make up for last year’s birthday by having a kick-ass bday this year. but i realized that i didn’t NEED to go out and have fun. ya, it sucked being sick with death knocking at my door! but i had the best time with just jess, jon, josh, and my 101.8 fever lol..they made me laugh alllll night! and that’s when i realized i was still living in the past. why live in the past? i’m making new memories now! i’mcurrently living with 2 of my best friends, due to the fact that i have Lovey and i can’t have her in my parent’s house. but it’s totally cool! ya, it’s an adjustment living with other people, and 2 kids, but it’s working out pretty well i think. i got put on Celexa back in Januarytoo and that helped tremendously with the negative thoughts and feelings i was having. i still have my ups and downs, but mostly i’m back to my old self once again! the new and improved Joy is back in town!
so i’m seeing this totally awesome guy! i’ve known him for abt 10 years, since freshman year…his name is Langston. he’s different than any other guy i’ve dated before..it’s hard to explain..but i like it! in this case different isn’t a bad thing. he makes me laugh and smile all the time! i love his eyes! they’re SO gorgeous! he’s caring, he’s so much fun! if i’m having a bad day and i see him, he turns that frown upside down! mainly bc it’s hard to not smile or laugh around him. Lovey likes him a lot, too much i think sometimes. he just holds her and she instantly calms down. it drives me nuts! and he loves to cuddle! AND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he plays with my hair! WITHOUT me asking him to! ha ha ha, ya i know some of you are laughing at that thinking “you silly girl”, but no one has really ever played with my hair unless i asked them to and that would only last for abt 5 minutes. his friends are really fun too. i get to go to south padre next week with him and 2 of his friends…i’m pretty stoked! a whole week with my boo! lmao and he’s the whole reason i get to go to padre also. he’s pretty awesome! i think i’ll keep him around for awhile. ;)
so Lovey is doing well. she’s friggin growin like a weed! i’m gonna miss her when i’m gone :( Langston’s mommy is watching her for me. i’m kind of worried abt leaving her for that long tho. the longest she’s been without me is just over night, i’m really hoping she doesn’t give them hell that entire week. she’s so co-dependent on me, it drives me nuts sometimes!
i’m totally stoked abt padre! i’m gonna do para-sailing, soak up the sun, do some walkin around- see stuff….maybe go to this restaurantplace where they provide fishing poles and u sit on the dock and drink ya some beer. this week i’m working on getting closer to a beach bod. its going good so far. i always struggle at first, like the first 48 hours. but once i see i can do it, i do fine. and no i’m not starving myself. i’m doing the special k challenge stuff (shakes and meal bars and protein water), taking these pills that increase my metabolism, eating fruits and veggies, peanut butter, drinking a TON of water. it’s really annoying have to pee every 5 minutes, but hey, i know i’m hydrated! lol i broke down tonight and had a glass of tea, but i figure eh one glass wont hurt. anyways……..i’m so excited! AAAHHHH!!!!!
ok well that’s all for tonight. good night my tumblr friends
